How Are You? Fine?

I can relate to this.

Let me break it down. “How are you? Fine, and you? Fine, thanks.” This blasé exchange allows both participants to score false nice-guy points and assert false independence. This is a vast conspiracy of lies, and we are all implicated, passing ourselves off as supermen—and superwomen—and denying ourselves the chance to actually offer and receive the help we need.

I used to have someone in my life who would actually call me out on this, but otherwise, most people have let this sort of thing pass. As much as I try, I'm not always able to be "fine". Many times, most of what might weigh me down could be considered trivial, but when you pile on those things with the significant, not everything is "fine". Usually the low feeling passes, and I regain control of my self-esteem, but it's not always an easy thing. Not everybody I know that I'd trust to reach out to is available at those moments.

Funny, the people I feel closer to are further away in physical distance.

I'm fine, though, really, but feel free to call me out. I could use a shoulder once in awhile.

Comments

[Jimmy]

Most of the time I figure I'll just say things are okay because I know most of the people I talk to aren't interested in the truth, whether I'm happy or a bit down. If anyone's interested, or reads this, of course, they'll hit truth.

[irene]

My dad always says, "I'm still alive," in response to the how-are-you question. I've picked it up from him, because it's a bit cheeky, but also because most of the time things are not exactly great yet life doesn't exactly suck either so I'm sort of just... surviving, I guess. If I'm stressed I'll say I'm stressed.

I'm also learning to be more open since I'm open on my blog. My rationale is that the fella could read about it on the Internet anyway, so why not just tell them? If they're genuinely interested in listening, that is...