Classmates

I did something I wasn't sure I'd ever do.

(Well, I still want to do that, but I'll have to wait there.)

In the middle of checkng out my old yearbooks Friday night, I got curious about a couple of people from my past--people with whom I lost touch.

I had crushes at one time, but they never materialized, and I haven't looked back on it. They became good friends.

One was someone I never knew in high school, but who graduated in my class. I worked with her for a few years, and tried to ask her out twice unsuccessfully. Once we resolved that she didn't like me that way, we got along very well, and did things together occasionally, hung out a lot at work and after work. She introduced me to a lot of music I hadn't really heard before--Depeche Mode, New Order, Erasure, the Cure, the Doors, U2, to name a few. She had a thing for Dr. Pepper too, as I remember.

Just a really cool, really fun person to be around, someone with feelings, thoughts and wasn't afraid to express them, yet also showed some vulnerability and even when things iced over between us for a time (and we had to work around each other awkwardly), I'd overhear her saying nice things about me.

Rattle and Hum will always be an enjoyable U2 album and movie because of her, even if it's been panned by critics. The gospel version of I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For is still fantastic for me. I love the song, Desire and I love the closing track, All I Want Is You. But I hear it and think of her, and smile.

The last time I spent any time around her was just before I left for Greensboro in 1991. We went to an Orioles game in Baltimore the night before I was to leave and had a blast. We really didn't call each other or keep in touch much after that, though I did bump into her a couple of times when I'd come back home, and I'd see her car occasionally on the roads.

The other person who struck my curiosity the other night I met during the summer in between my two years at Greensboro. I was an orientation leader, and she was in one of the orientation groups--not mine. I didn't know of her until the second day of the orientation when I saw her wandering the halls of one of our buildings. She had messed up her finger in a fall and it was getting worse. I asked to be excused from leading my group for a bit, and along with the orientation director, took her to a walkin clinic to be treated--even knowing how queasy just being there would make me.

We hung out later that day after orientation was over, while she was waiting for her late night train to take her back home in Vermont. She and another girl was in the car when the cop pulled me over. Great way to lead, eh? It was a warning ticket for a burnt out headlight. When she got back to campus that fall, we hung out quite a bit, becoming really good friends. I never tried to ask her out (I was confident she knew I liked her, but I also knew she liked someone else), but we always got along very well, and when a relative of hers died early in the semester, I volunteered to drive her home to Vermont.

Since I had a cross country race that weekend, we drove there first, and then continued all the way to Vermont, sharing driving duties. I stayed at her family's house in Vermont, and her and her family invited me back for fall break a few weeks later. Most beautiful leaves I've ever seen are in Vermont, and from what the locals said, I caught them in a good year. She showed me some of the Vermont countryside, her old high school, shared her thoughts of becoming a minister, took me out to eat for a memorable lunch, showed me how to drive more aggressively (how to take corners, mainly) and showed me where she wanted to be buried. She was bisexual, though I never saw her with another woman.

We lost touch after I left school in '93. Though I've thought about these people, and others with whom I went to school, I left the past alone. And with almost everyone else, I can't imagine it being any different, but with these two, I wondered how they were doing. Through classmates.com, I found they had created listings for themselves on there, and by paying a small fee, I could email them, so I took the plunge and did so. I haven't heard from them, though they notify you when they read your message. I got one such notification Sunday, but I haven't heard from either of them. It's okay if I don't.

With those two, my emotional memories are stronger than most. I enjoyed their company, and whether or not that's possible now, I just wanted to say hi (with the others, I was surprised how many names I recognized--even some who had signed my yearbooks). I don't have any expectations really, but all these years later, I want to know how they are.